Sunday, 31 July 2011

Pumpkin's Blog - Day 1

Pumpkin’s Blog

Ok, so don’t get excited but this is my blog.

Sigh yawn sigh.  I know it’s been a long time coming sigh, but things don’t happen quickly in Pumpkinland.

So … actually, I’ll go and have a few biccies first, back in a mo.

(10 minutes later)

Mmmmm, yummy.  Yawn oooh they travelled to my tummy.  Sorry sigh, where was I ?  Yes yawn me – Pumpkin.  I suppose you want to know a little bit about me?  Well, oooh what’s that hang on sniiiiiiiif, ooooh my lips smell yummy – licks lips mmmm – yes, well I’m a pussycat, as you may have guessed from the photo, and unless you’re colour blind you can see I am a glorious ginger stripey and white ball of gloriousness.  And no, I am not fat, or skinny-challenged – licks lips they’re still so yummy – but I will settle for voluptuous.

So that’s me.  Voluptuous pussy.

Exhaaaaaaust-ED.  Time for a nap.  Leisurely look round.  Think I’ll just plop right here.  Sigh yawn sigh.

4 hours later

Yaaaaaaaaaaaawn oooooh sleep so goooooood.  Ah, bliss.  Wonder if there’s any food lying spare ? Sniffs air and discovers – triumph – I can smell chicken!  The holy grail of leftovers!  My oh my – stumbles to feet – my oh my yawns and follows sniffs oh oooh I’m getting closer.  Ah, bless the Bethlet, she left me some chicken on her plate.  Sniff sniff drool ooooh sooooo yummy oh my god chicken RULES oh wow.  Well that was a bit meagre harrumph.  Sniff despondent face – nothing else on plate.  Or tray.  Or under plate on tray.  Or under tray.  Or on the seat of the sofa (not that I jumped up to have a look you understand, noooo that would have been a disastrous and wanton use of calories) or lying on the carpet.  Sigh.

Boring.  Ooh the sun’s moved round a little bit.  Oooh if I angle my bottom just right as I pirouette and ….. plop … oooh that’s it, toasty.

Ok, now I am comfy I should do a bit of grooming, but let me fill you in on a few basics first.

So, firstly – me.  Number 1 pussycat.  I rule the roost and the neighbourhood, no one messes with me, and everybody dotes on me.  Except Marky-Mark, but more on him later.  Ooooh, just licked my shoulder and now it smells like chicken.  Awesome.  So, yeh, I enjoy yawn relaxing.  Chilling, hanging out at home, pottering around from room to room (well from kitchen to lounge), looking adorable, and oh yes, YES, patrolling the neighbourhood.  Yes, yes, all the time. 

Lick lick. Itchy bit.  Mmmmm.  Like everyone else, I like food.  Well, you need it to survive don’t you, so I make sure I have every possible chance at survival.  And I hate to see food go to waste lick lick or just lie there in boxes or bags.  Let it out, people, let it out, is what I say.  Food should not be caged in a tin or a box or an inpenetrable bag, NO, it should be free.  Free to provide happiness and stamina and essential nutrients for a healthy fur coat!  Free – uh, where was I ?  oh yes, lick lick.

I live in quite a nice house.  But man does it have a lot of rooms.  Once I lived with a little old lady in a 2 room flat and that was awesome, no more than lick lick 10 pawsteps between the food bowl and the duvet but this place lick lick nibble nibble is … extensive.  It exhausts me just thinking about all the rooms in the house, so I’ll just give you an overview –

The kitchen – this is where all the action is.  This is the HOTSPOT.  This is my land, my country, my Eden!  Lick lick nibble what IS that nibble lick gotcha lick lick.  The kitchen is cool for many reasons.  Firstly, it contains my food bowl, which over the years I have made sure is kept full by a mixture of adorable, annoying and pathetic manoeuvres.  Secondly, it contains Parsnip’s food bowl.  Parsnip is my so-called sister – yeh right lick lick – she’s snooty and skinny and quite often very slow to respond to the music of a filling food bowl.  This is the only time I EVER love Parsnip.  Thirdly, it contains Marky-Mark.  I am not sure whether I like Marky-Mark as he is very lovey dovey with Parsnip for some reason, and I do not trust people who prefer skinny to …. voluptuous.  But the Marky-Mark likes to give tidbits to his little babycat when he makes his sandwiches once a day and when he cooks.  Lick lick.  Now, he is at least fair, so he gives me as many tidbits as Parsnip, and as I make sure I stick to his ankle like glue, I usually get a little bit extra as well.  GET IN!  He gives us cheese sigh ham sigh raw bacon yummmmy sigh and raw chicken mmmm.  Ah, I could almost forgive his babycat-love. 

Fourthly .. is that a word sigh – it contains Momma who loves me more than babycat and therefore sneaks me treats when babycat’s not looking ha ha ha haha ha ha ha.  And it also contains the Bethlet, who finds it amusing to feed us and ladies and gentlemen, who am I to complain about that ?!?

So, kitchen, gateway to paradise.  Next is the lounge.  Sometimes people eat in here, which is good, and if they’re not eating I just snooze, no biggie.  Again, the Bethlet is a good target, and Marky-Mark is extraordinarily good at putting his plate on the floor, slipping into the lick lick kitchen for a can of beer and leaving his meal unattended ha ha ha ha. 

You see, there’s a popular misconception about me that I am not fast or nimble like a proper pussycat.  That’s not the point.  I am fast and nimble and NINJA when I need to be.  When I need to be.  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is only when there’s food on the floor.

Ok, blogging is officially siiiiiigh exhaust-sigh-ing yaaaawn.  Nap time.  Mmmmmm.  Dream of doing nasty things to Parsnip.  Hee heee.

Sigh yawn sigh.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Blogging tips