Sunday, 13 May 2012

Green Nails for Depression Awareness

Hi Goddesses 

I'm sure I read somewhere that it's Depression Awareness month again somewhere, and by an unlucky coincidence, I'm struggling at the moment, so what better time to unite nails to cause?

I've written about my depression before, and also received emails and messages about it.  I am not a chronic suffer.  I am not bipolar or suicidal - I have what they call "mild" depression, where you die inch by mediocre inch.

You might ask why I would choose to write about this on a blog.  It's certainly not ego talking, although I do like doing posts where I can let my thoughts roam free, unharnessed by limits dictated by a polish.  No, it's because I refuse to be embarrassed by it.  Simple as that.

Life is hard.  Life in the 21st century is *incredibly* hard.   If you think about the manic lives we all lead, is it any wonder that mental illnesses are on the increase?   Between the job, the children with their after-school social lives, social media and networks, TV that records at the touch of a button ... when, in this life, do we ever get to switch off ?

Usually I am ok.  Level and functioning, albeit not at my sparkly hey day best.   This episode is unusual and has been triggered by a month of bad weather in the UK (which has made me miserable and snotty), bad sinuses (which has led to me feeling tired and throwing up pretty much every day), an excitingly manic month at work, and a daughter who I adore who has wanted a lot of me.  There has been less of me to go round because I have felt ill, and yet I have spread myself thinner (not physically thinner, dammit if only THAT were a side effect of depression), and because something has to give, depression sneaks into the back door of your mind, the one you forgot to lock because you were so busy doing other things.

I was asked this weekend whether I thought doing my nails helped my depression ?  Undoubtedly, yes.  The nail room is my oasis, my nirvana, my isolation booth (I hide and retreat when I'm suffering), and doing my nails has become what I've started calling my "Yoga For The Soul".   What on earth does that mean ?  Well, to do your nails, you have to relax, chill, and breathe smoothly, all meditative acts.  It's also something that you have to focus on 100% to get right, leaving no room for intruding thoughts.   Would you like to place a bet on whether I have had more or less nail room time available these last few weeks?  Uh huh, less .....

So, let's segue to the nails, cos that's why we's-a here :)   This is 2 coats of the beautiful Myrza's Meadow from Barielle, a lovely dreamy creamy green, with a good touch of warmth and loads of holo particles.  This is so pretty on it's own.

So what's all that stuff on top then ?   Well, I wanted to do a mani that reflected how I feel, and these squiggles, in ManGlaze Nawsome Sauce, do just that - tied up in knots; don't know where I'm going; no end, no begininng; contorted thoughts; fragmented; a mess.

Thank you for reading xx.
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