Saturday, 1 June 2013

The Secret Diary of a Polishaholic - Before Day 1

Dear Diary

This post a thinly fictionalised account of my own experiences.  All names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Today's post is a snapshot of what life is like BEFORE you become a polishaholic :)

Day -5 to 0

So a friend on Facebook dared me to count my nail polishes- I have 15 !!  OMG that’s outrageous!  Who needs 15 nail polishes ha ha.  What am I thinking?

Ok now I have 16.  Went into town and saw a lovely new Rimmel.  Yes it’s very similar to 4 other polishes I have, but that’s not the point.   It’s my favourite colour – browny-pinky-reddy.    I’m going to wear it tomorrow for work.
Ah it looks really nice.  Damn, wish I hadn’t checked it was dry though, now it’s got a fingerprint on it.  I can smooth it though.  Shit.  Now there’s a lumpy bit.  Never mind, no one will notice.

Work’s a bit boring today.  Never mind, it gives me time to peel off all the bits of polish on my finger.  I don’t know why people waste time getting these bits off with remover, picking them off is so much more fun and OW, pulled too hard.  Bastard.  Big bit of skin hanging off now.  I’ll nibble it down, it’s ok.

Saaaaake..  Big bastard chunk of polish has chipped off.  Gggrr, why won’t this staple come out?  I’m sure it will.  Puuuulllll.  Dammit, now I have a chip in my nail too.  Bummer.

Bedtime soon.  Oh nearly forgot, I should fill those chipped bits in.  There we go.  Bit of a ridge, but no one will notice.  God I’m good.

Siiiiiigh work is boring again.  This training session is snoozy.  Maybe I’ll just pick some polish off …..

Dammit, meant to repaint my nails last night.  Oh well, no one will notice.  Besides, it looks like grungey chic, doesn’t it, with polish just halfway up.  Also, people with perfect nails just don’t understand - it’s only because I have such a stressful job AND I’m a mother AND it was Grey’s Anatomy last night that I didn’t do them.  There’s just not enough hours in the day sometimes.

Oh well, I’ll paint them at the weekend.  They’ll still look glam if I do them once a week.

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