Sunday, 16 June 2013

The Secret Diary of a Polishaholic - Day 1 - OMG Crackle!


This post is a thinly fictionalised account of my descent into polish madness.

Day 1 – Not that I know it yet ….

So Jo has been telling me about this new thing called Crackle where you paint it on like polish and it “cracks” or something.  Sounds shit to me.  If you’re going to wear polish, why would you then hide it with black polish on top?

OMG Jo wore the crackle today!  OMG OMG OMG !  It’s AMAAAAAAZING.  It looks so cool and arty, like graffiti.  It shows the underneath polish a bit but OMG it looks awesome.

Jo brought the bottle of Crackle in today so that I can borrow it – can’t wait, my nails are gonna look frikkin awesome!

Oh.  They look like shit.  They look like I poured black tar over them.  Why hasn’t mine cracked?  I put it on like they said, but it does not look like the bottle, and it does not look like Jo’s either.  It looks shit.   Hmmmmm.

I explain to Jo that I am sad.  Hers had big wide cracks and mine looked …. rubbish.  Jo says there is an art to doing it and you have to do it in a certain way.  Apparently there’s a video on the web somewhere.

OMG there are nail videos EVERYWHERE!  There are YouTubes and millions of photos – who ARE all these people?

I sit and watch several videos which state the obvious and try the crackle again.  Still looks like shit.

But hhhmmmm … all those videos …….

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