Nigel Farage Appoints Nigel Farage to Party Chairman
Farage confident he can work well with himself, despite known clashes
LONDON - In a major reshuffle described by insiders as a “strategic move”, Reform UK spokesman Nigel Farage has announced that the leader Nigel Farage has confirmed Nigel Farage to be the new chairman, replacing the outgoing chairman, whose name briefly escapes him.
“I’m delighted to announce that Nigel Farage will be taking up the post of Nigel Farage’s chairman,” said Nigel Farage at a Nigel Farage branded podium.
The appointment follows the quiet exit of David Bull, who sources say may have “inadvertently not been Nigel Farage.”
Farage praised his incoming chairman as a “man of vision, principles, charisma, and distinctly Nigel Farage-like qualities.”
“We had an exhaustive search process. We considered dozens of candidates, all Nigel Farage, and in the end, the right one stood out. It was me.”
The new Chairman Farage is expected to work closely with Leader Farage, Spokesman Farage, Communications Director Farage, and Shadow Home Secretary (provisional) Farage. The Treasurer role remains vacant, pending confirmation from Farage.
Streamlining the Brand
Party insiders say the restructure is part of an ongoing “Faragification” strategy to reduce public confusion and ensure brand consistency. One aide confirmed that Reform UK will soon rebrand as “Farage UK”.
Graphic designers have been instructed to produce 17 identical headshots of Farage for the party website, each with different titles but the same facial expression.
A leaked internal memo reads:
"Where once there was diversity of opinion, there shall now be Nigel. It’s easier for the public, and frankly, for Nigel."
Reaction
The Electoral Commission has requested clarification on whether the 2024 Reform UK candidate list is “a single person using various hats, accents, and disguises.”
In a press conference where he stood beside a mirror and nodded approvingly, Chairman Farage announced:
“This isn’t about me,” said Farage. “It’s about Britain. Which, coincidentally, is also mostly about me now.”