Phone Snatchers Complain About Gentrification Driving Up Moped Costs
Young criminals say soaring prices threaten the future of independent theft
LONDON - As gentrification continues to sweep across the capital, one marginalised community is speaking out: London’s phone snatchers.
Local moped-based petty criminals are sounding the alarm over skyrocketing moped prices, claiming the influx of oat-milk drinking professionals and artisan sourdough bakeries is making it nearly impossible for the average thief to get a fair start in the “spontaneous redistribution industry.”
“We used to pick up a stolen moped for £200 and be snatching phones in no time,” said Jay, an industry veteran of the East London scene. “Now it’s all special-edition Vespa imports and net-zero compliant subscription based electric scooters.”
Criminals say rising rents on lock-up garages and an influx of startup founders in gilets have also pushed them out of once-reliable strongholds like Hackney and Peckham.
“I tried setting up in Walthamstow,” said another anonymous thief, “but now there’s a craft sourdough place where the chop shop used to be. Even the exporter went legit. He’s repurposed his supply chain to import craft-beer for a local vegan restaurant.”
Moped snatchers are calling for more “equitable crime opportunities,” citing a lack of inclusive infrastructure, rising insurance fraud costs, and unfair policing, especially in areas with strong coffee culture.
In response, Mayor Sadiq Khan’s office issued a statement:
“We remain committed to tackling inequality in all sectors of society. We’re currently reviewing whether designated theft opportunity zones and sustainable moped sharing schemes could help provide inclusive, environmentally friendly opportunities for street level entrepreneurs.”
Critics say this doesn’t go far enough, with some proposing a “first phone free” government pilot program to keep young criminals from falling behind.
Meanwhile, property developers have announced plans to rebrand a well known knife crime hotspot in North London as “Blade Quarter” and market this to foreign investors as gritty chic.